I think about my friendships all the time. Why people came into my life, why they left, and what happened in between. In many ways, maybe these friendships perfectly existed for that time in my life, for a specific moment, and had they existed sometime else it wouldn’t have worked out.
Sometimes before bed, I’ll lay awake at night and think about those whom I held, and still hold, so dear to my heart. Am I just convincing myself otherwise, leaving pictures and memories tacked up next to my bed? Or is it time to retire those pictures and just move on?
I guess I’ve always been very passionate in my friendships, and maybe that’s what’s at fault. I loved too much, cried too much, felt the other’s pains too much, too much, too much, too much. Rarely did I ever get half as much in return. But a friendship shouldn’t have to be a game, waiting for the other person to make a move, so that you can go next. It shouldn’t have to be about 50/50 and favors and returns. It needs to be about love, and just love. At the end of the day, I don’t regret any lost friendships. I just long for a type of love that endures, that doesn’t force itself upon another or tries so desperately to cling on.
God calls us to love one another just as He has loved us. Not to love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:16-18). Let that be a reminder for me and my relationships with others. To love passionately and inconveniently, to put others before myself, to love in such a way to reflect how God loved me first.
I don’t know where this post just went….I just miss my friend :/
well said—exactly spot on.
daaang, breigh. we’re more similar than i thought.